Welcome back to Londonist: Croydon Edit! Piloted by Londonist editor and committed Croydonian Will Noble, it's about all things in the borough of Croydon — including features on Croydon's crazily rich history, interviews with the people who make Croydon what it is, the latest on Croydon openings, exhibitions, gigs and events, and lots more.
Did you know that Croydon has a European doppelgänger? Since 1946, special links have been forged between Croydon and the Dutch city of Arnhem, and they’ve been formally twinned since 1985.
I do wonder, though, how many Croydonians have visited their continental counterpart, and indeed how many Ernemmers (for that’s what they're called) have set foot in the Valley of the Crocuses.
To that end, I’ve cobbled together a kind of competitive culture exchange. After all, it’s been a while since we had a heated England Vs Netherlands contest...
Public transport
Croydononians can hardly go five minutes without talking about their great public transport links—after all, the town alone boasts three train stations. Then swaggers in Arnhem with FOUR (Centraal, Velperpoort, Presikhaaf and Arnhem-Zuid), not to mention the fact Centraal is a swooshing UNStudio/Cecil Balmond beaut, which rather puts East Croydon's 1990s 'Oil Rig' to shame. But wait a second. Google Maps tells is it takes over an hour to get from Arhem to the Dutch capital, Amsterdam, whereas you can zip from Croydon to central London in just over 10 minutes. What's more, though the Dutch town got its first trams almost exactly the same time as Croydon, in the late 19th century, it lost them during the Second World War, replacing them with the tram’s gauche cousin, the trolleybus. Not cool, Arnhem. Winner: Croydon
Concert hall
In its orgy of 1950s/60s demolition, Croydon maniacally brought its great theatres—the Davis, the Grand Theatre and Opera House, the Scala, Palladium, Hippodrome and Eros—tumbling down. In its defence, it did also build the Fairfield Halls at that time (and as another of my recent posts proves, what a place THAT was and is). Still, the town planners of Arnhem were a little less insane more measured with their approach to modernising their own music halls, and the proof is the Musis en Stadstheater Arnhem, a stunning symbiosis of stuccoed 1840s auditorium, and sleek 21st century concert hall. Add to that the fact that the Musis en Stadstheater Arnhem sits at the tip of a lake-studded park (rather than a raging road called Park Lane), and it’s barely even a contest. Winner: Arnhem
Celebrity clout
Admittedly, it doesn't help that my near-complete ignorance of Dutch culture means I know few people beyond Vincent van Gogh and Ruud Gullit. But while I’m sure there are plenty of folk in the Netherlands who will rave about Arnhem’s Linda Wagenmakers, Blaudzun and Antonie Kamerling, they draw a total blank for me. And here comes Croydon, bringing out the big guns: many Ernemmers will surely be au fait with Kate Moss, Stormzy and Darth Vader (I mean, David Prowse, who played him, did live in Addiscombe for much of his life). And, if you’ll allow me to be topical for a second, did you know that a young flautist by the name of Keir Starmer had his first ever trip abroad (to Malta) as part of the Croydon Youth Philharmonic? Winner: Croydon
Food hall
With the blockbuster Boxpark batting for Team Croydon—especially having recently won the Rate My Takeaway seal of approval thanks to Nanny Bill's—you might assume it’s a fail-safe for winner of this foodie round. That is, until you see Foodhall Arnhem ("Good food! Good mood!"), an altogether less mainstream emporium of dim sum, burgers, ceviche and Sichuan encased in voguishly industrial glass and brick, plus a thicket of glossy houseplants. Their beer looks better too. Winner: Arnhem
River
Some way from the famous Thames, Croydon does at least host a section of the River Wandle—though admittedly it's not one of the nicer stretches with ancient mills on it, but a portion that was partially concreted over in the 1960s, and often stars a guest shopping trolley in the Wandle Park bit where it surfaces. Arnhem sits on a proper, meaty river—a branch of the Rhine called the Nederrijn. It's still not exactly the Danube, but pleasant surprises are sprinkled along the route, including the John Frost Bridge (named for the real life Major-General, who helped defend Arnhem from the Nazis, a story remembered in the 1977 war movie A Bridge Too Far) and this floating B&B. Winner: Arnhem
Countryside
Part of Surrey until 1965, the fringes of Croydon are pretty as a picture—all verdant, swelling hillsides—approaching the North Downs, in areas like the Farthing Downs and Happy Valley. Tickling the north eastern fringes of Arnhem, meanwhile, you’ll find Veluwezoom National Park, which—judging from the photos of blankets of undulating heather—confounds the archetype of flat and featureless Dutch countryside, and actually isn’t all that far off what you find in the most picturesque parts of Croydon. Such are the similarities here, it seems unfair to choose one over the other. Winner: Draw
Culture
Arnhem isn’t messing about when it comes to culture. As well as Airborne at the Bridge, a small museum all about Arnhem’s bridges (see ‘River’) there’s the Museum Arnhem, the Underground City Cellars, the beautiful 16th century Devil’s House, the Netherlands Open Air Museum (just outside the city limits but we’ll allow it), and a zoo. What’s really turns me green with envy though, is that Arnhem is home to the Nederlands Wijnmuseum—yep, a museum dedicated to wine. Croydon is steeped in culture, yet its ability to celebrate it is stunted. It does have one of the world’s best small museums in the old Croydon Airport, and the Museum of Croydon has reopened for the time being with an excellent display on the town’s musical nous. But come on—underground cellars and a wine museum? Winner: Arnhem
Football team
Until a mere few weeks ago, there was little between Croydon and Arnhem's headline footy clubs—both Crystal Palace and SBV Vitesse were well-established, well-respected teams, playing in their nations' respective top leagues. Alas, for SBV Vitesse, they've just been relegated, and will spend the 2024/5 season trying to fight their way out of the Eerste Divisie. Maybe they should give Roy Hodgson a call. Winner: Croydon
Winner: Absolute scenes—it’s ARNHEM! Well I didn’t see that coming. Especially as I’ve never even been to Arnhem. Does this mean I have to stop doing this newsletter? If the good people of Arnhem want to put me up on an all expenses paid trip to their fair city, and come and write more lovely (but better informed) content, I'll happily consider.
Ever been to Arnhem? Do you LIVE in Arnhem? Do drop me a message in the comments and tell me how I’ve got everything in this article very wrong.